I Am...I Said...

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Day 14 in Las Vegas
The Coffee Bean

I've been putting this off for while, but now it's time to "get-ur done": order a certified birth certificate and replace my social security card.

Now at first glance it doesn't seem all that important. I've lived most of my adult life without a wallet-sized social security card, and I've never seen an official copy of my birth certificate. Somehow I survived college and graduate school, and about 30 years of adult-career-grown-up-type jobs without ever having to produce either a birth certificate or a social security card. I guess I've been lucky.

So the time has come to do the adult thing and acquire these two all-important, identity-proving documents. Since the 9/11 attacks and the birth of Homeland Security, proving one's identity has become a little more sticky. More employers are doing background checks and double-checking the proof of your identity. So it's become apparent that everyone should have both a certified copy of their birth certificate and an official social security card. (Unless you're an illegal allien...then all you need is the ability to speak Spanish and look really sad.)

I asked my father, "So...where I do go to get a birth certificate? The hospital I was born in? Have you got a copy?" My father's response, "Well...you probably need to go to the county clerk's office."

My father is usually smarter than me when it comes to these things, so I took his advice and went to the Nacogdoches County web site and sent an email to the County Clerk for instructions on how to obtain a birth certificate. I was emailed back with these instructions: "...pay $23 and send a letter requesting the certificate and tell us why you want it." Tell you why I want it? What kind of nitwit are you? "Well, I'd like to frame it and place on the wall next to my embossed driver's license!"

My next chore was to visit the Social Security Administration office this morning on S. Buffalo. I walked into the "Card Center", took a number, and waited for about 20 minutes. The lady behind the bullet-proof glass was kind enough, though a little tight around the buns if you know what I mean. She was all business. But she did have a nice manner about her. After filling out a form and showing my driver's license I was given a temporary form proving I exist. I was told I would have to wait a week to receive my card in the mail. "Don't laminate it," she said seriously as if to imply that if I did, Leon Panetta would send a CIA operative to my house to go Jason Bourne on my ass. "Yes, ma'am," I said and I quickly left the building.

The Past Week in Review

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A look back over my shoulder at this past week:

1. Watching people salivate over a drawing at the Red Rock Casino has me laughing...because I'm just like them. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights we all stand around and wait for our club card number to appear on a video screen. Ten people receive $1,000 each, plus there's a drawing for a new $75,000 Escalade.

2. A move to tax legalized prostitution in Nevada failed, as predicted. The brothels were willing to pay $5 per "client" as a tax in exchange for some respect. But the state legislature balked. They are willing to make prostitution legal, but don't want to tax it like a legitimate business. Brothels are good for tourism. But treat them like a normal business? Nope.

3. It snowed one morning, for ten minutes, on my way to Starbucks.

4. The Coffee Bean is my new favorite hang-out.

5. The MGM Mirage survived another week. As The Strip's largest employer, the developer of CityCenter keeps plugging ahead without the help of its partner, Dubai World. Will they file bankruptcy and attempt to reorganize a $13 billion debt? Will CityCenter open this fall as expected? The answers depend on what you read and who you talk to.

6. The local economy is in shambles, but some say they see signs of recovery. Housing sales are increasing, mainly due to prices dropping through the floor. If you're looking to buy real estate, bargains exist on every street corner. Example: condos selling for $275,000 can be had for $160,000. The number of foreclosures has more than doubled.

7. My right thumb still hurts. I did something to it before I left Carmel two weeks ago. When I bend it at the knuckle, a pain shoots down to the palm of my hand.

8. I met a very nice lady at a UPS Store. She's taking over a new store in June. UPS Stores in general do fairly well if they are managed well and are located in the right area. While shipping is down, the other services they offer help keep the cash coming in.

9. I like Facebook. I hate MySpace. I like email. I hate cell phones.

10. I sold a domain name through GoDaddy's Auction Service and found it to be a pain in the groin, mainly because the buyer was a city government.

Haiku #3: "To Freeze or Not"

To Freeze or Not

by Mitchell R. Aiken

Warm days, cool nights here.

The weather can't seem to choose.

Freeze them, or sizzle.

.

The ying and yang of

It all makes me long for a

Summer of pure heat.

.

I'll get my wish soon.

Hundred degree days will come,

Melting my yingyang.

A Brief Visit to Hooters and the MGM

Day 10 in Las Vegas
The Coffee Bean, on my favorite black couch

I walked through the Hooters Casino this afternoon. It's a rather casual, no-frills, kind of place when compared to the glitz of the MGM across the street. The word for Hooters that comes to mind is "unkempt", like a child's room that is messy and needs a good cleaning. I suppose that's an unfair judgement since Hooters doesn't claim to reach out to the high class clients of the more glamorous properties, so I shouldn't compare them. I'm just taking note of the little details I notice when I walk through a property.

For example, the first thing I noticed at Hooters was in the elevator. You can usually tell the class of a joint by its elevators and its bathrooms. The garage elevator at Hooters had lights knocked out and graffiti stains. In addition, it shook and rattled and noisily made its journey from the third level downward where it finally deposited me safely on the casino floor.

I don't want to be overly judgemental about Hooters. It's just an observation of the little things, the things that add up to an overall impression of a place.

When I walked across the street to the MGM, of course, I encountered a completely different world. Again it's unfair to compare the MGM to the Hooters, so I will not.

The lions at the MGM were feisty and putting on a show for a nice crowd huddled around the glass cage. I felt sorry for the lions. What must life be like for them? Created for the wild, to be masters of their domain, to conquer nature as one of the grandest beasts in the land. I could almost see in the eyes of one lion a sense of doom, a sense of resignation and defeat as if to say, "How the hell did I end up here in a glass case as show fodder for a bunch of tourists?"

As I walked around and observed the crowds and watched a few hands of poker in the pit I felt like I was in a glass case. Is someone watching me?

On my way back to Summerlin, a radio news report said that billionaire investor Carl Icahn advises the MGM Mirage to file bankruptcy and reorganize their $13 billion debt. No wonder the lion looked so sad.

Vegas Traffic a Nightmare

Spent three days this afternoon navigating the nightmare traffic east of downtown. Every street is under construction or being widened or is just too backed up with traffic. Seems like traffic east of town is far worst than west of town, so I intend to avoid the area north and east of UNLV.

There's also construction near downtown and of course the area around CityCenter is horrible. For a city that's crumbling beneath the boulder of an economic depression and shrinking tourism base, it seems like a lot of people still live here. Why don't some of you people move to Laughlin?
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There's an outside chance that CityCenter will halt construction, putting thousands more out of work. Oh joy. What a mess that would be. That's why the powers-in-charge are doing their best to keep the payments coming so construction on the megabillion dollar complex will continue. Dubai World, half owner of the monster, is balking on the deal and causing MGM Mirage all kinds of fits. Will MGM and Dubai work out their differences and see CityCenter completed next fall? Some say it's doubtful, given the current economic mess. But MGM Mirage seems empowered to move ahead and feels Dubai World will eventually come around.

There's so much at stake, I'm sure the deal will get done between these two behemoths. A lot strutting and pawing will commence during negotiations, but both sides will eventually cave in and come to an agreement, each side claiming its own victory. Should CityCenter shut down, it'll become the largest casino property for rats and homeless people in the country.

April Snow in Las Vegas. What the...?

Day 9 in Las Vegas
Starbucks near the Red Rock Casino

It's cold in the desert this morning. So cold, in fact, by the time I made it to Starbucks it was snowing. Pretty white flakes, floating above the hood of my car, melting on the windshield, making me think I was still asleep and caught up in some weird dream.

I'm the first to admit that seeing it snow in Las Vegas in April was a little shocking. But after twenty minutes, it was back to being cold, cloudy, dreary, and wet. The forecast calls for sun and about 90 degrees by Saturday.

Traveler's Haiku #2

"Traveler's Haiku #2"
by Mitchell R. Aiken

On the road again,
watching each mile pass beneath
me like a cold snake.
Striking the town lights
after dusk, snapping at scenes,
slurping gas and oil,
as the wind blows east
into the desert sands and
a Red Rock Canyon.